The Happy Tutor
An esteemed colleague of Diogenes and a frequent drinking partner in the Dumpster after hours. Phil often pretends he is the Happy Tutor in order to get girls, but really there only one Happy Tutor. He is the Real Deal.
One Line Bio
Dungeon Master to the Stars
On Origins
Orphaned at an early age. The Happy Tutor was raised by Jesuits who taught him to master himself and others through mortification of the flesh. Having run away at age 11, The Tutor is entirely self-educated, having learned literature and philosophy through text books scavenged from a dumpster behind the local High School.
His Calling
The Happy Tutor has risen in the world by his own efforts unaided. After peddling his fanny to all comers from age 11 to 21, he sank to life insurance sales in Birmingham, AL before rising through the ranks to become Dungeon Master, at Wealth Bondage in Dallas, TX. In that capacity, he provides pro bono consensual and nonconsensual over the knee morals coaching to the Rich and Famous.
Quotation
"When I was a kid roaming the streets, I didn't have any money to go to the movies like the rich kids did. So I used to go down to the city dump on Saturday nights and shoot rats with a 22. That was the beginning of my interest in giving back to Society."
Testimonial
I have known Phil since 1972 when he, Dick Minim, and I met at Oxford, where I was running a male escort service out of the Bodleian Library. He had great promise then. People compared him to Bill Clinton, but it all come to nothing. Sad to see him like this. At least Dick made it to Congress.